Sarah from Detox to Rehab reached out to me a few weeks ago about the possibility of one of their recovering addicts writing a guest blog for us. Indya has also shared her story on their website. Detox to Rehab strives to be the only place you need to go to get all of the information and resources you need in regards to treatment and recovery.
We are sharing Indya’s blog post below exactly how she sent it to us – in her own words. Thank you Indya for sharing your story.
“My name is Indya Renee and I am a grateful recovering addict. By the grace of God, I have been sober for 86 days, 2,073 hours, and 124,391 minutes! Yay!
It has been over a year since I’ve used any illegal substance and must tell you relapse is a part of my story but it does not have to be a part of anyone else’s. I woke up this morning in my own bed, in a loving warm home with running water, food in the fridge, clean clothes to wear, and transportation in my car port. My daughter’s sweet and infectious giggle woke me up actually and I participated in getting us both ready for the day.
She says “mommy?” I reply “yes baby?” she returns with “I love you” and in that moment I am complete. I am blessed to share a home with my phenomenal, sweet, loving mother she makes her coffee while I get Brielle breakfast and of course we have Disney junior on the television for my little nugget.
I stop sometimes and think about my life and wonder if it’s too good to be true because most of my life had been filled with chaos, pain, loss, degradation and hopelessness. Instead of dwelling on the past I take a breath and remind myself just how blessed I am and if I just continue to do the next right thing in front of me “one day at a time” I can do this.
I have never had a job I actually looked forward to coming to, but another blessing, I have a job like that today. My boss and my coworkers are all amazing people who inspire me to be positive and set and accomplish my goals. I get to work in the field of recovery and talk about recovery, work with others in recovery and write about recovery. YAY!
I will also tell you that I am a dually diagnosed person, meaning I have a mental illness as well as suffer from addiction. My mom helps me to organize my medications and we have a great system that helps me to take them every day on time which is really important. Sometimes I get frustrated with the inconsistency of my clinic because they are always switching my doctors and medication but I press forward and speak up about my needs and symptoms so that I get the proper care.
It is a blessing to have insurance and medication because without getting treatment for both my addiction, and mental health I would be a seeking soul again. Because of my recovery I have regained a relationship with my precious baby girl, I am present and active in her life she motivates me to keep fighting for a better today.
I sometimes get overwhelmed because I have unreasonably high expectations of myself and want to be the best mother possible. My mom, is amazing she is a true blessing and provides me a close up of what a real mother looks like. She has never left my side except for when she started to learn about recovery herself and realized she may have been enabling my addiction.
I have a great relationship with my mom, I respect her and appreciate her and try my best to show it through my actions. I am starting to truly love myself and treat myself with kindness and that is much different than what I could say a year ago. I hated my reflection, I despised who and what I had become.
I am so eternally grateful and appreciative of how far I have come and I may not be where I want to be still am not where I was. Instead of acting out my emotions with destructive behavior I express myself through poetry and verbal communication. If I were to die today I would be at peace knowing I died doing the best I can, I love my life today….YAY!”